About John Patterson

The owner of Life by John and a specialist in the field of career and life coaching, John Patterson helps people every day with various relationship, career, and general life issues that have a direct impact on their lives. John spends most of his free time with his wife Sheila and their two cats Kitty and Spock.

Just Be Positive?

Ever heard someone say “just be positive, and it’ll all work out”?  Ever thought that sounded hollow, cliché, or insensitive?  Me too.  In fact, you might say much of my coaching philosophy is based around this one idea, or should [...]

A Case for Pessimism

People who know me know I’m a generally upbeat person, someone who usually strives to find the good and positive aspect of a situation (for the most part).  I would describe it as always searching and striving for hope, despite [...]

Authenticity, Part 1: Why It Matters

When I sat down to write my first blog post, there was no doubt in my mind what I wanted to talk about.  Authenticity.  It’s a word that most people generally understand.  It’s a word that is becoming more and [...]

Do NOT Make a New Year’s Resolution

Do not make a New Year’s resolution.  Seriously, don’t do it. Okay, wait a second, hold up here.  Is this a life coach telling someone NOT to set goals for themselves?  Aren’t coaches the ones preaching goals this, and action [...]

Goal Setting 101

The closer and closer we get to that all-too-familiar January month, the closer we get to feeling like we need to start setting some goals for ourselves for the coming year. Whether this impending month represents a good reason to [...]

The Give and Take of Relationships, Part 2: Women

It should come as no surprise that men and women often have different needs when it comes to relationships, so for all you women out there, wouldn’t you like it if your man knew just a little bit more about [...]

The Give and Take of Relationships, Part 1

I recently watched the movie Don Jon with the wife (starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson) and was left at the end of the movie struck by the commentary the movie had to say in regards to healthy relationships.  Without [...]

What to Do When Your Boundaries Are Challenged

In my last blog post I wrote about the need to develop healthy boundaries, and doing so is of course vitally important (and can be quite challenging).  Creating such boundaries is one thing, but actually executing them - and even [...]

Ten Steps for Developing Effective Boundaries

One of the healthiest things that we can do in life is setting up healthy boundaries for the issues that we’ll face down the road.  This concept really revolves around the idea of “self-care,” or the idea that we need [...]

Am I Sabotaging My Life?

One particular question that seems to come up every now and again from my clients is “am I sabotaging my life?”  And to be honest this seems like a very valid question on the surface, especially when life doesn’t seem [...]

The Art of Listening

Listening is of course vitally important in any healthy relationship, yet it’s unfortunately so rare in society.  Not rare necessarily because we don’t know how to do it; rather, we don’t know how to do it well, and we are [...]

Inside the World of Relationship Coaching

Recently I was asked by one of the co-founders of Noomii.com to contribute to an article for YourTango.com on the topic of relationship coaching, and since a lot of the info I provided is of benefit (I think) to others [...]

So What’s My Coach Doing While He’s Listening To Me?

If you have ever engaged in life coaching before, or are familiar with the profession in general, you might be aware that coaching involves just a little bit of listening on behalf of the coach.  Okay, maybe more than a [...]

Why I Talk About Sleep Everyday With Clients

Sleep is essential. Yes, you’re probably reading that short sentence and thinking to yourself, you’re a smart one there John. But I wonder if you (and/or others of the human race) understand just how essential it truly is. Fear not [...]

How To Deal With Crazy Family Members (yes, you’re not alone)

You have a crazy family. At least, I’m betting you do if you’re reading this post. And it’s a relatively safe bet anyhow, since just about everyone I meet has at least ONE crazy family member that drives them up [...]

Introducing the Life by John Blog!

Welcome to the absolutely brand new Life by John blog! Having been wanting to make a blog for quite some time, I've finally gotten around (i.e. the wife motivated me) to setting one up and preparing a list of great [...]